Fruit, fruit...

Okay, so I have eten more fruit in the past two days than in six months (unless it was in a pie...). I am not typically a fruit eater, but ont he new WW Points Plus system it is all free so I am trying to embrace it. I've added frozen mixed stuff to greek yogurt, grabbed a banana and an apple as between-meal-snack and can honestly say that I already feel better. yes, folks, it is true that the healthier you eat the better you feel. I have cut down on my coffee consumption considerably over the past couple of weeks often opting for a cup of herbal tea in place of the 3rd or 4th cup. We'll see if it continues! Today, I am making a completely WW friendly meal for my father-in-law's birthday! Let's hope it is good!

Day 1 of the Biggest Loser

I tried to write this earlier but, alas, my network is being annoying...

Today is the second day of snow and it is surprisingly calm in my house. My kids are being pleasant (for the moment), my husband is folding his laundry after 3 hours of Guitar Hero. I made what look like super yummy and healthy banana muffins for dessert tonight and I started the Biggest Loser competition today since I weigh more now than I did when I joined Weight Watchers after having my second child. Pretty sad, but, it has been a really rough 6 months (I'll post about it one day when I have the emotional stability to do so).

I am going to do what I said I would do and post my weight for all of theinternet to see should they like to seek it out: 183.6 and hold myself accountable for getting back to feeling good and pretty and, yes folks, even sexy! Did I mention my husband bought me lingerie for my b-day...egads given my current size, but loveable that he thinks I would look good in it. It's a testiment to 10 1/2 years I suppose! Anyhoo, I'm pushing the post button now to further embarass myself! Have a great day! (I'm blushing as I push...)

Snow Day

I know people who love snow days...an extra day with their kids, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I like them. Today, not so much. I had stuff to do that I can't now. It's not convenient to wait until Monday, but I have too. I'm unshowered, cold and want to crawl back to bed. Alas, with 3 kids that ain't happenin'! I will attempt Christmas thank you cards after the kids are done watching Peter Pan. Please don't let it go badly!

I Wonder...

Sometimes I wonder how much of myself is genetically passed to my children. My oldest has a tendency to exhibit behaviors that I did (still do) as a child and it makes me angry. He acts all whacked out and scared at the bus stop all of a sudden and I stand there looking like/feeling like an idiot. What I'm wondering is if he actually is having an issue on the bus or is being teased and doesn't know how to express it. He can often take "kind" teasing to another level and get fearful. I saw it happen at 4 when his soccer coach would insist that he was going to steal his light up sneakers. The coach was trying to engage hima dn make him laugh, but my son took it seriously and got fearful. He's not the kind of kid to tell me much either (again, much like me) and that stresses me out b/c then my mind wanders and I think the worst and fear the worst and epculate, etc. I don't want him to be the loner child, but he may be like me and keep a few friends close and everyone else out. I don't know if that is good or bad...

OMG

Okay, so I ask you, how many times can your child scare the bejeezus out of you? How many times can you tell her to stop doing something only to have her continue to do it to the point that you want to strap her down so she cannot move? I'm finally at the point where I am getting to know a few of the women in my neighborhood (we moved last year and my oldest is now in kindergarten so I'm getting to know them at the bust stop). Unfortunately, my youngest two consistently cause me grief when we are waiting at the bus stop. My daughter in particular, pays no attention to the fact that she is on the corner of two roads (granted, these are not busy roads, but cars do drive through in the morning). On multiple occasions I have had to lock her in the car or strap her in her car seat (and folks, she is 4 1/2 and old enough to know better). Today, I literally screamed at the top of my weak lungs and grabbed her hood b/c her entire life flashed in front of my eyes. Luckily, the minivan was a bust stop waiter and not turning into our road, but I didn't realize it at the time. I hate the feeling of having no control. I hate that I appear to suck as a parent every damn morning b/c my kids cannot wait for 5 minutes at the bus stop like normal children. Do I really suck this badly?

I want a cheesebuger...

Psych....

Okay, so I'm gearing up for this "Biggest Loser" competition with some of my fellow moms. It starts on Saturday. I plan to follow Weight Watchers on my own (I've paid in the past) and think I have enough will power to do it on my own right now. Afterall, I'm blogging about it and joined a group on my facebook page about it. Now to get my head in the game. Right now I really want a cheeseburger and the pear sitting in my fruit bowl is not looking appealing...I need to set foot in my gym again (I've been out since August b/c I had some crazy pneumonia or virus ir soemthing that was never figured out but caused me much pain and suffering...hence part of my craziness and dulldroms...I've had more CT Scans, x-rays and even a PET Scan than a normal person and am anticipating a tumor from all the radiation...yes, folks, I'm a terrible pessimist).. Anyhoo, this week I'm vowing to try to psych myself up, get in the game, jump on the bandwagon, move forward..."Today is the first day of the rest of my life" as the Automotive shop's placard claims (don't even ask about this place...great work, but crazy placards every week). Anymore cliches anyone can throw my way?

Go get 'em me!

January 1, 2011

I've always been a private person...that is until I'm comfortable with you and then I will pretty much tell you anything about my life. But, at the end of the day, there is a lot I don't tell. Fears, great sadness, great joy. I'm not able to speak it often. I struggle daily with my weight, my looks, my ability to parent my 3 beautiful kids, my ability to be a good wife. I need to start holding myself accountable for things that I say I am going to do. Actions speak louder than words. Writing will be my voice and my outlet and my accountability to myself.

Here's to an interesting 2011!